A look at the clemency applications of felons who were pardoned reveal that many contained personal appeals from friends of Gov. Haley Barbour and major Republican donors. A bill introduced by Oklahoma state senator Ralph Shortey would prohibit the use of aborted fetuses in food products. Apple has topped the American Customer Satisfaction Index (ACSI) in the personal computer category for an eighth consecutive year, achieving a score of 87 points. This is Apple’s highest score ever on the index and nine points ahead of second place HP. The ACSI includes tablets in the PC category, and the organization says in its press release, “Apple’s winning combination of innovation and product diversification — including spinning off technologies into entirely new directions — has kept the company consistently at the leading edge.” WASHINGTON—Saying he came bearing an important message from the past, a stranger from the year 1998 appeared on the Capitol steps Thursday and urged voters not to elect Newt Gingrich president in 2012. Coroner Levels Wobbly Examination Table With Piece Of Ear Are Bugs Mad At Us?  A new law prohibits Kaleidoscoping while driving, Joe Biden advertises guitar lessons on the White House bulletin board, and Romneymania sweeps the nation. Virulent Strain Of Soy Flu Traced To Single Tofurky SILVER SPRING, MD—Calling the collection of puppies assembled for Puppy Bowl VIII a tired rehashing of the same old Jack Russells, pit mixes, collies, and labs, fans around the nations agreed this week that the 2012 contest would be one of the most ... Just in time for the holidays, Apple’s fifth Manhattan store opens for business at New York’s world-famous Grand Central Terminal at 10 a.m. on Friday, December 9. The store overlooks the historic Main Concourse and features two Genius Bars, entire rooms dedicated to Personal Setup and Personal Training, and an expert team of 315 employees. Holiday shoppers can test-drive Apple products, attend 15-minute Express workshops, get free technical support, and more. Lifetime 10 p.m. EST/9 p.m. CST Fourteen-year-old Ashley Fennel is sick of letting her bitch foster mom boss her around and decides to take to the open road. Meanwhile, Jake returns after an unexplained two-week absence, but doesn't want to talk about it... Wired reviewer Brian X. Chen writes that a superb new camera and speedy dual-core processor are great additions to iPhone 4S and that Siri alone is reason enough to buy the phone: “To give you an idea of how convenient Siri is, it takes about three seconds to create a reminder with a voice command, as opposed to the 10 seconds it takes me to manually type an event into a to-do list or calendar entry.” Chen concludes: “…both inside and out, this is a magnificent smartphone.” STATE COLLEGE, PA—As thousands of mourners gathered at Penn State's campus spiritual center Wednesday afternoon to say their farewells to Joe Paterno, former assistant coach Jerry Sandusky took the opportunity to express his "deep, everlasting ... WASHINGTON—Saying there's no way around it at this point, a coalition of scientists announced Thursday that one-third of the world population must die to prevent wide-scale depletion of the planet's resources—and that humankind needs to figure... Apple today announced financial results for its fiscal 2012 first quarter, which spanned 14 weeks and ended December 31, 2011. The Company posted record quarterly revenue of $46.33 billion and record quarterly net profit of $13.06 billion, or $13.87 per diluted share. These results compare to revenue of $26.74 billion and net quarterly profit of $6 billion, or $6.43 per diluted share, in the year-ago quarter. “We’re thrilled with our outstanding results and record-breaking sales of iPhones, iPads, and Macs,” said Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO. “Apple’s momentum is incredibly strong, and we have some amazing new products in the pipeline.” New York Times columnist David Pogue reports on AssistiveTouch, an “amazingly thoughtful” iOS 5 feature that makes it possible to complete Multi-Touch gestures using one finger or a stylus. Writes Pogue: “I doubt that people with severe motor control challenges represent a financially significant number of the iPhone’s millions of customers. But somebody at Apple took them seriously enough to write a complete, elegant and thoughtful feature that takes down most of the barriers to using an app phone.” According to the IRS, federal, postal, and congressional employees owe $1.03 billion in unpaid taxes. TRENTON, NJ— Citing the nearly 1,500 deaths that occurred in the United States last year as a result of kaleidoscoping while driving, New Jersey governor Chris Christie signed legislation Friday banning the practice. Despite changes in procedures and airline schedules, flight delays last year in the New York area were as bad as ever, and rippled across the country. Israel wants existing settlement blocks to become of a part of Israel, an approach that the Palestinians rejected as unacceptable. Last week, several websites, including Google and Wikipedia, raised awareness of the prohibitive measures included in the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and the Protect IP Act (PIPA). Here are some of the legislation's controversial provisions: